Write that you're sorry, say one true thing about the person who passed away, and sign your name. That's a complete sympathy card. Families rarely remember the exact words; they remember who wrote, and the cards that mentioned the person by name.
The three-line card
When you're stuck, use this shape. It works for a card, a text, an email or the note tucked into flowers.
Line one says you're sorry. Line two says something about the person, or about what they meant to the family. Line three offers warmth or help, then your name.
I'm so sorry about your dad. He always had a joke ready for me at your door. Thinking of you all this week. — Sam
I was so sad to hear about Margaret. Her garden made our whole street better. With love, the Ortiz family
For a close friend
With a friend you can be plain and personal. Use the name of the person who passed away, and offer something specific rather than "let me know if you need anything".
There are no right words, so I'll just say I love you and I'm here. I'm bringing dinner on Thursday.
Your mom treated me like one of her own. I'll miss her laugh. Call me any hour, even if you don't want to talk.
I'm so sorry. I keep thinking about the summer she taught us both to fish. I'm here for whatever you need.
For a coworker or colleague
This is one of the most searched versions, because the relationship is friendly but not close. Keep it short and warm, and don't ask for details.
If the whole team signs one card, each person can write a single line. A group card with twelve short notes means more than one long paragraph.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need; we've got things covered here.
Thinking of you and your family. You're in our thoughts this week.
I'm sorry to hear about your father. If there's anything I can take off your plate at work, just say the word.
For the loss of a parent
Losing a mother or father changes how the world feels for a while. If you knew the parent, share a small memory. If you didn't, acknowledge how much they shaped your friend.
Your mom was the first person to welcome me to the neighborhood. I'm so sorry. She'll be missed by so many.
I didn't get to meet your dad, but I can see him in the way you take care of people. Holding you close today.
For the loss of a child
Keep this one simple. Don't try to explain or comfort with reasons. Say the child's name if you know it; parents often say hearing it is a gift.
We are heartbroken for you. We will always remember Lily's smile.
There are no words. We love you, and we're here, today and in the months ahead.
For a neighbor or someone you know a little
You don't need a close friendship to send a card. A neighbor, a parent from school or a regular at church will be glad you noticed.
Keep it to two lines, and add your last name or street so they know who it's from.
We were so sorry to hear about Tom. He always waved from the porch. Thinking of you. — Ana and Luis, two doors down
Please accept our sympathy. If you'd like a hand with the yard or the dog this month, just knock.
When the loss was sudden
After an accident or an unexpected loss, families are often in shock. Short is kinder. Don't ask what happened or guess at the cause.
Offer presence rather than explanation. A practical offer, like driving to the airport for relatives or picking up kids from school, can matter more than any sentence.
We're stunned and so sorry. We're here, and we'll keep checking in.
No words feel right. We love you and we're holding your family close.
How to sign off
Choose a closing that matches how well you know the family. "With love" suits close friends and relatives. "With sympathy" or "With deepest sympathy" suits colleagues and acquaintances.
"Thinking of you" and "Holding you close" sit in between. For a religious family, "In prayer" or "God bless" may feel right.
Religious and non-religious wording
Match the family's beliefs, not your own. If you're not sure, choose wording that works for everyone.
Christian: Praying that God gives you comfort and peace in the days ahead.
Jewish: May his memory be a blessing.
Muslim: May Allah grant him Jannah and give your family patience.
For anyone: Holding you in my heart. I hope you feel surrounded by love this week.
What to avoid
A few well-meant phrases tend to land badly. Skip "everything happens for a reason", "they're in a better place" (unless you know the family believes it), and "I know how you feel".
Don't ask how the person passed away, and don't turn the card toward your own losses. One sentence about the person who passed away is worth more than three about grief in general.
Late cards and follow-up
It is never too late to send a card. A note two months after the funeral often arrives when the casseroles have stopped and the house is quiet.
Mark the date of the anniversary in your calendar. A short text that day ("Thinking of you and your mom today") tells a family they haven't been forgotten.
Questions people ask
What do you write in a sympathy card for someone you didn't know well?
Keep it short: say you're sorry for their loss and that you're thinking of them. For example: "I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family."
How do you sign a sympathy card?
"With love," "With sympathy," "Thinking of you" or simply your name all work. Add your last name if the family may not know you well.
Is it OK to send a sympathy text instead of a card?
Yes, especially right away. A text the day you hear the news, followed by a card later, is a kind combination.
Should I mention the person who passed away by name?
Yes. Families often say hearing the name is a comfort. It shows the person mattered to you too.
If the family is gathering memories online, your card can go further: a short story or an old photo shared on their memorial page can end up in the book they keep. Memorabilia lets guests do that from a phone, with no app.
Gather memories from everyone at the service
One QR code on the memory table. Guests add stories, photos and voice notes from their phone in a minute, with no app. The family approves everything first.